"Life is tough, but I am tougher"
This is a quote on a necklace given to me by one of my Relay for Life friends, a charm of a pair of boxing gloves attached.
Right now, it's really easy to focus on that first phrase, the fact that life is tough, unfair, difficult.

This journey continues to be a roller coaster, flying upwards on good days, spinning and loop-de-loops of uncertainty, and, of course, dips down of bad news or painful side effects.

On a positive note, since being in the hospital in my Mom's last post, I've since had a long transition to being home more permanently as long as I don't have serious enough complications! For a while I was sleeping in my own bed at night but needing to be in the high dose unit (like a day hospital) 8-5 or later every day; painful sores in my mouth, throat, and down my GI tract made it difficult to stay hydrated and take my medications, and I was spiking lots of fevers. I was still attached to IV fluids at home and my parents and I had an IV antibiotic regimen to do every night. After a while the sores and fevers decreased, and I was freed from the IV fluids and allowed to have days off of being in clinic! Now I have to come every other day to have my counts checked since I often need platelet or blood transfusions.

For some good news, after I got through all of that craziness, I had some restrictions lifted for being in public and eating take out or fast food! Walking through Target, grabbing Starbucks, or driving through McDonalds are things I have definitely taken for granted in the past, so it's so great to be able to have those little freedoms again. Obviously I still have to be VERY careful about germs and take things slowly instead of doing everything at once, but it's so exciting to feel a little bit normal again. My cousin Eva went with me for my first trip back to Starbucks and Target; we had a blast! I'd also been CRAVING Jimmy John's the entire time I was under restrictions, so we indulged in that, too. Since my legs are not super strong yet, I had to use one of those "old lady" shopping scooters at Target, which caused lots of laughs and thankfully no crashes! :) Here are some pictures from our fun day:

As fun as that day was, physically things have been tough since then. As I've talked about before, part of my treatment is dealing with the symptoms of graft vs. host disease (GVHD). I've had lots of symptoms of GVHD, including skin and GI tract problems and some heart and lung issues. I also contracted a virus that caused me to be hospitalized for over a week and remain mostly immobilized in bed.  This caused me to now have to walk with a walker; I currently have much more limited mobility than I did in the pictures above.  However, I am working hard with a physical therapist who is helping me achieve little victories, like walking to the bathroom by myself.
So, although life is tough, I have my boxing gloves on and I am not giving up.  Sometimes people have reminded me that God never gives us more than we can handle.  But I learned recently that this sentiment is not anywhere in Scripture.  Instead, an even better promise is throughout the old and new testaments: God will never leave us alone, and He walks right beside us through whatever comes our way.
Love,
Sarah