Hello, everyone!
Sorry it's been so long since I gave a mass update. I decided I want to try to get into a habit of blogging every week to keep everyone in the loop of what's going on. On days when I'm not feeling great, it's hard to get up the energy to commit to sitting up and using my brainpower to translate my thoughts to typing! However, I also need to remind myself that I don't have to make massive posts with tons of pictures every time I post...simple updates are good, too. So, hopefully I can work on writing a little more often, even if it's just short updates. I am so grateful to have all of you, my amazing support team, so I want to share every step of this crazy journey.
Last time I posted I believe I was just finishing my first round of chemo. After that first round, when my cell counts started coming back up, I got some not-so-great news that there were still leukemia cells in my blood, meaning that the chemo didn't put me into a remission. This wasn't a surprise, since my type of leukemia is extremely aggressive and stubborn. If anything would have been able to put me into remission, it would have been that round chemo, so it was disappointing that we didn't have the results we hoped for. This news doesn't change the treatment plan, it just means that I'm not in the most ideal place I could be. However, I am tough, I am strong, and I am a fighter, so the fact that the cancer cells are stubborn just means that I have to continue show them who's boss!
Last week I had my second round of chemo, but that type of chemo I was able to have outpatient and stay at home! Being home is SO much more pleasant than the hospital. No being woken up for vital signs 5 times during the night...no being attached to a beeping IV pole I have to push around...I get to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine...I get to see my family every day...I could go on forever about how much better it feels to be home! This round of chemo was not quite as intense as the last round, but I do have things I'm struggling with. My stomach doesn't always agree with me, my exercising makes my legs really sore and achy, and I've had headaches and other undesirable symptoms.
Although it's hard to be uncomfortable, I'm really learning once again to focus on the blessings rather than the things going wrong. Yes, I have some pain and nausea; but the pain is manageable and the side effects are nowhere near what I've had to go through before. Yes, I have to go to the hospital every other day for bloodwork and checkups, which can take a while; but I get to sleep in my own bed and be at home for the rest of the day. Yes, my muscles are weak and it's hard to exercise every day; but I get to take walks outside, at gorgeous parks, in the beautiful weather instead of the hospital hallway. Every day I wake up, I have a choice: I can let all of the things that are unfair or painful or going wrong drag me down, or I can decide to be thankful for all of the blessings I've been given. I don't always choose to look at the blessings, but I have to say that when I do, it really makes all the difference. In the midst of the battle I'm fighting, God has given me so many amazing gifts...and I choose to be thankful.
Finally, an update on what's to come! On Wednesday, I'll have more chemo to prepare me for my "mini transplant." That next Monday, the 23rd, is when the transplant is planned for as long as everything goes as expected! I'll get a big dose of my sister's cells again, and we're praying that those cells will put me into a long-term remission. I'm ready to kick this cancer for good, and I'm willing to put up whatever fight is necessary to once again be victorious.
Thank you, as always, for the prayer and encouragement! Lots and lots of love,
Sarah
